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Deep-sea Angler

Submitted by malberigi on Sat, 03/24/2018 - 16:22

An organism that inhabits the deep ocean that has many adaptations for its extreme environment is the deep-sea angler, Melanocoetus johnson.  Females are much larger than males and have a bioluminescent stalk between their eyes.  They use this stalk to attract baitfish to a sharp set protruding teeth.  The male deep-sea anglers are much smaller than the females and his main purpose is to locate a female.  The males have highly sensitive nostrils they use to sniff out their mate in the complete darkness at 2.3km beneath the surface.  One a female is located, the male angler attaches himself to the underside of the female with his teeth and remains there as a parasite.  He feeds from the female until he is needed to fertilize eggs.  These fish only have to mate once in their lives because the male becomes physically part of the female and will fertilize all of her future eggs.

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brettconnoll

Mon, 03/26/2018 - 21:21

In your second sentence, it feels like you are missing something ".....attract baitfish to a sharp set protruding teeth." you may want to add the word of between set and protruding to make it flow better. 

Another issue is in your fourth sentence "One a female is located,...." I feel like you meant to say once instead of one. 

These mistakes may have been avoided reading your paper out load or using a proofreading software.

You could rearrange your first sentence to be more captive. To maybe something like, " Melanocoetus johnson, the deep-sea angler is known to inhabit the deep oceans in extreme environments." I like your concluding sentence which shows the wrap of thoughts in the paragrah. Some minor spelling mistakes maybe meant to say once instead of one. 

I beleive that a preceding topic sentence before you begin to discuss the phenotypical differences between the males and females would help the reader prepare for what they are about to read. Something along the lines of... they are very adapted (as said in the first sentence), but even amidst such adaptated individuals there is a clear sexual dimorphism. This serves to let the reader know what youre discussing and allow them to arleady begin thinking about this themeslves.