Finding and Capturing Pictures of the Plant
I went to Durfee Greenhouse in between 10am-4pm. I entered through the door that’s closest to the Integrative Learning Center. The plant I found was the very first plant to my right that was in a square pot. Its name is Camellia Japonica. I took a picture of the whole plant while standing in front of the entrance and diagonal to the plant. I took an up-close picture of a few flowers that were close together. These flowers had sun shining on them unlike the ones in the shade.
Comments
Narrow down the time that you
Narrow down the time that you went to the Durfee Greenhouse. 10am-4pm is a bit broad and doesnt give the reader a sense of when you were actually in there.
Try to use a topic sentence
Try to use a topic sentence that leads into what the paragraph is about
Saying the sun was shining on
Saying the sun was shining on them could be confusing if the replicator goes in a cloudy say