Sharks are amazingly well adapted to their ever-changing marine environment. They possess several adaptations that help them swim without expending too much energy, and enable them to maneuver quickly and with agility. The bodies of all sharks taper to points at both the snout and the tail, increasing their hydrodynamics as they chase after prey. They also have a type of scale known as a denticle, which controls the flow of water over the skin’s surface leading to a reduction in drag. Most importantly, sharks are known for possessing a skeleton entirely composed of cartilage. Unlike most vertebrates, they do not rely on their internal skeleton to provide them with firm sites for muscle attachment. Instead sharks have a thick skin composed of a meshwork of strong and flexible collagen fibers. This woven layer acts as a receptacle for swimming muscles to attach directly to their armor-like skin. From a mechanical perspective, having muscle directly attached to an external skeleton is a very efficient arrangement, resulting in very little waste of muscular energy. In general, sharks use low energy and mechanically complicated movement, which allows for continued existence as an apex predator.
Comments
Comment
I found this paragraph very interesting! There was a lot of relevant information, that was not complicated and easy to read. Additonally, the grammar was sound and easy to understand and interpret. You could possibly use a concluding sentence, but overall, great job!
Voice
Aim for a a more scientific tone. Avoid terms like "amazingly". Avoid anthropomorphizing: "they possess". Avoid cliches: "their ever-changing". Simplify. Omit needless words and phrases like "are known for".
Comment I
I like this paragraph. It is very comprehensible, although, needs to be more scientific with less adjectives such as amazingly. I would suggest splitting up the second sentence to make both points stronger. I would also suggest a stronger conclusion to the paragraph that sums up what has been mentioned.
Comment 3
This is an interesting paragraph and very informative. I think you could add in a more simple and concluding sentence at the end. Maybe use the word overall or just wrap the ideas described in your paragraph. I think this was a great paragraph overall.
This was a great paragraph
This was a great paragraph with well-formulated sentences. You wrote your "most importantly" sentence in the middle of the paragraph and you should instead shift that topic to the beginning of your paragraph and then talk about the rest of the shark's characteristics that make it well-adapted to its marine environment.