The specimen being observed is quite small, about 3 centimeters long. It is shaped like a small bean that is about 1.25 centimeters, with a long tail which accounts for the majority of the organism’s length. The organism appears to be semitransparent, with a taupe hue. Looking down on it closely, you can see small organs, and its digestive processes working. The small creature appears to eat sawdust, and was covered in it when delivered to my petri dish. Additionally, at the opposite end of its tail, it has a small hole that looks as if it is its mouth. Its movements are reminiscent of that of a caterpillar, that extends and recoils in order to traverse its path. The organism has eight nubby legs, that are in sets of two parallel to one another and also used to aid movement. At the top of its head, it appears to have small sensor like buds as well. With regards to its activity level, I would say it is quite high. The organism has crawled out of the petri dish independently multiple times, in order to escape its enclosure. However, when touched by myself or another object, it freezes all movement and appears still, stiff and dead. Overall, this organism is quite fascinating in its anatomy and behavior, and interesting to observe.
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Perfect Paragraphs
Each week, post your own Perfect Paragraph and comment on three Perfect Paragraphs. Suggest improvements. Don't just say "Looks good."
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I think that you should have included questions that arose while observing. I like how you included how the organism tried to escape and you were very descriptive. The sentence structure were good. Your ideas seem to flow well and you are very concise.
Solid description with lots
Solid description with lots of descriptive words such as "taupe hue". My only reccomendation would be to cut back on the description of when the organism was touched. "still, stiff and dead" is a bit repetitive.
Very descriptive paragraph
Very descriptive paragraph about the specimen. The sentence "With regards to its activity level, I would say it is quite high" seemed alittle oddly phrased. I would suggest removing the first person and reordering the sentence.