Red blood cells are comprised of Hemoglobin, which contains 4 subunits with a Heme group in each subunit. Each Heme group contains 1 iron atom, and each iron atom can bind to one oxygen molecule. Having her anemic condition, she has a low red blood cell count. Due to this, each breath she takes will only allow a small amount of oxygen to be connected to the hemoglobin. The respiratory system is key to promoting the homeostasis of the body, involving pH stability in humans due to O2 intake and CO2 release. Development of anemia in people with Crohn’s disease is often seen due to the low iron levels caused by bloody stools. Her body would be severely weakened by the oxygen deficiency, likely causing her shortness of breath. Oxygen deprived cells within the body cannot perform as they normally do, and thus it would be much harder for her to breathe than regularly.
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Perfect Paragraphs
Each week, post your own Perfect Paragraph and comment on three Perfect Paragraphs. Suggest improvements. Don't just say "Looks good."
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Comments
Wording
"and thus it would be much harder for her to breathe than regularly." should be changed to "and thus it would be much harder for her to breathe than usual."
Your 3rd sentence doesn't
Your 3rd sentence doesn't sound right. Maybe rearrange some of the wording. For instance, you can say: " Her anemic condition is caused by a low red blood cell count."
Consider altering the
Consider altering the beginning of your thrids sentence to 'the respiratory system is key to maintaining bodily homeostasis'.