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MIE 290H Assignment: Introduction Paragraph

Submitted by oringham on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 16:24

Sustainable development is defined simply as advancement made in society that is able to meet the needs of the present, without compromising the capacity for future generations to meet their needs and maintain a satisfactory quality of life. In an effort to create a sustainable and flourishing global civilization, the United Nations has set forth the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) of the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. These goals are comprehensive and eminent, such as quality education, no poverty, zero hunger, reduced inequality, and responsible consumption and production. The global cooperation has been nothing short of remarkable, with 193 countries committed to upholding and achieving the SDGs within the next fifteen years. Extensive global participation is paramount to the success of the SDGs as each country works harmoniously to improve economic growth, social inclusion, and environmental protection. Although the SDGs are not a legally binding policy, their implementation is set forth by an expectation to uphold these goals for the sake of humanity. The holistic nature of the goals requires integrated cooperation and assistance from all countries in order to uphold sustainable development policies, and to create a better earth for all, for tomorrow and for years to come.  



You make a comparison between "the needs of the present" and "the capacity for future generations": try to make comparisons parallel.

You use the phrase "such as" with a laundy list of terms. Try to use precise language.

The first sentence sounds awkward and needs to be revised. Such as, "Sustainable development is defined simply as an advancement made in society that meets the needs of the present...". Solid paragraph, just revise the first sentence, generally a definition is precise and to the point.

I like that its simple and easy to understand. Although I think you could revise the third sentence in your paragraph. Instead you could say, "these goals are comprehensive and eminent, addressing topics like education, poverty, hunger, inequality, and responsible consumption and production.  Overall, this is an interesting topic and very informative.