You are here

Brain Injury Study

Submitted by mrmoy on Fri, 02/02/2018 - 00:40

In this specific study, the researchers are trying to correlate the cavitation effect on a popping bottle to brain injuries. Cavitation is when water at rest is all of a sudden sped up with a force of acceleration, causing a destructive wave to shatter the bottle or container that the liquid is sitting in. Similar to liquid trapped inside a bottle, the brain is surrounded by fluid, so a hit to the head could cause a similar effect to our brains. Our brain is essential to almost every function that happens throughout our body and during a concussion your brain is damaged or bruised. Although one concussion might not cause long term damage, repeated amount of concussions can cause long term memory loss and diseases like CTE, like we see many football players having. With this information, researchers are able to create better safety equipment to minimize the amount of trauma our brain sustains. In conclusion, if the force of the hit to the brain is above a certain margnitude, there is no safety equipment that researchers can create to protect the person.



I think your conclusion sentence isn't really a summary of your entire paragraph. Maybe you can keep that sentence (omit the "in conclusion" phrase) and add a conclusion sentence that summarizes  your entire paragraph

I would write out CTE if it is the first time followed by the abbreviation for those who dont know the abbreviation to then know what it stands for. 

Soe of your sentences are really long and seem to be held together by many commas. I understand you're trying to get all of the information into one paragraph but the information may be better explained if you broke it up into more individual sentences.