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Background Para Proposal

Submitted by nchenda on Wed, 04/04/2018 - 21:59

In the article “Experimental evidence for a mismatch between insect emergence and waterfowl hatching under increased spring temperatures,” it states that insect emergence is mainly driven by temperature. This article shows that even changing a few degrees of temperature will affect whether insects will thrive or not. This information can be used to take into consideration the variation in temperature within both Morrill buildings and within the different floors. If the weather is hotter, there will be more insects or organisms present. If the weather is colder, there will be less. Therefore, if the temperature inside a certain part of the building is hotter, there will be more organisms present. If the temperature is colder, there will be less.

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Comments

The wording of the first sentence feels off. I would suggest saying something like "The article 'Experimental....' states that...."

The last sentence in your paragraph is too repetitive, find a simpler way to conclude your paragraph and tie in all your thoughts. Also the comma after temperatures in your first sentence should be outside of the quotation.