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Week3 PP

Submitted by mqpham on Sat, 02/09/2019 - 12:45

Evolution and acclimation are two areas of biology that are often convoluted. The former is a change over time in a population or a species such that the descendants are different from the ancestors. However, acclimation is change in an individual's physiology. Other differences between the two include heritability. Evolutionary changes in populations are heritable, while changes in individuals due to acclimation are specific only to that individual. However, the ability to acclimate itself is due to evolution. An example of evolution is observed in polar bears, which have evolved clear fur, thus matching the color of the snow. Random mutations lead to this clearness, coloration that ressembles white snow, and because of the fitness advantage, the genes for clear fur were passed on, changing the population. An example of acclimation is the tanning of human skin after long durations in the sunlight. This physiological change came about for the individual who tanned, but is reversable, and cannot be passed onto the next generation. If a person tans, their child will not be born the skin color of the parent's tan. However, humans have the ability to tan because evolution allowed them to tan. Those who were able to tan were more protected from the sun, giving them a fitness advantage.

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Comments

This paragraph is organized well, but there were some sentences that were too longwinded with too many commas. For example: "Random mutations lead to this clearness, coloration that ressembles white snow, and because of the fitness advantage, the genes for clear fur were passed on, changing the population." This sentence can be changed to: "Random mutations caused the clear color that resembles snow, and because of its fitness advantage, these genes were passed on and changed the population's composition. 

The comment before me is right that some sentences are a bit lengthy and disturb the clarity. But, some sentences would benefit from commas, I believe. For example, maybe rewrite as: "However, the ability to acclimate, itself, is due to evolution." I don't necessarily believe in the notion of 'too many commas;' I think they add clarity when used correctly. 

I agree that some of the sentences are a bit wordy and detract from what you're trying to say. For example in the sentence: 'the ability to acclimate itself is due to evolution' the word itself is unnecessary because it doesn't add anything new. I would also avoid a passive voice such as when you say an example is observed. It's better to say ''...” is an example of whatever it is.