The creature in the container appears to be some sort of caterpillar or larva. It has a body that is overall creamy yellow in color, with a head that is darker brown. The tail-end is a darker color than the main body, although it is not as dark as the head, and the lightest part of the body is the middle between the head and the tail. There is a line running down the center of the body from the head to the tail that is darker than the surrounding areas and appears to be a structure inside the body. The larva's body is segmented into approximately 13 different segments, including the head, and is approximately 2-3cm in length. Each segment has a small spot at the bottom of it, and these spots are found on both sides of the body. The body's overall shape is oblong, and it tapers slightly at the head and tail areas. There are no immediately obvious limbs, however closer inspection reveals short, stubby legs along the length of the body and more prominent legs at the front of the body near the head. There is a small, thorn-like protrusion at the tail-end. The larva moves around by moving its body in a wave-like motion from the back end to the ead.
Comments
Organization of Paragraph is Great
Very easy to follow and the use of specific description such as number of segments make the reader understand what the larvae looked like. To improve your paragraph, I felt like you used some unnecessary comma between sentences. I think it is better to end the sentence with a period in some cases, then start a new sentence rather than connecting all by a comma.
Spelling error on the last
Spelling error on the last word, I believe it is supposed to say "head". Overall nice flow of the paragraph and it was easy to follow.
Simplify
The paragraph is overall easy to follow, but I see some opportunities to shorten sentences. Leaving out the word "color" would be okay when describing the color of the larva. You could also combines two sentences: "The larva's body is oblong and tapers slightly at the head and tail areas.