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crawling organism

Submitted by jhussaini on Fri, 01/25/2019 - 15:54

The organism is approximately the length of a nail and has thick segments running down its body. It crawls slowly around the perimeter of the container. The movement starts at one end of the organism, where red dots are located, and oscillates toward the other end to bring its entire body forward. At this other end, there is a brown tip, which moves rapidly as if the organism is getting a sense of its external environment. After it encounters debris, the organism crawls faster exerting more force as it tries to get out of the way. After moving the container to disrupt its movements, the creature becomes perfectly still for a few minutes before starting to crawl forward again. This appears to be a natural response to stress from the environment. Moving the container upside-down so that the organism crawls on the ridges of the container does not appear to change its rate of movement. This suggests that the organism applies a greater force of contraction to overcome the tension of the rough surface. Overall, the motion patterns of the organism in response to various stimuli give insight to its behavior.  

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Comments

Instead of comparing the length of the organism to another object (in this case a nail) it might be better if you instead gave a rough estimate of what the measurement of the length might be

Try to avoid using the word "this" and instead try to replace it with what it you are talking about. For example you can say "The reaction appears to be a natural..."

Maybe change up the use of the word force so that it is not overrepeated. Maybe inseatd of "exerting more force" or "applies a greater force" you could use something like "uses more energy" just to change it up.