Observations of the Spike-Worm
As the object was placed upon the desk for observation, initially the object has a worm, caterpillar-like resemblance. It is alive and attempts to escape its slippery, plastic chamber by carefully crawling its way around the outer ring of the clear plastic cup, keeping to the very edges. It’s solid body is segmented into several sections (twelve approximately), and is a faint brown in color. On the anterior end of the organism. the head appears more rigid and is darker than the rest of the body. There also appear to be several black spots as well as black hair-like structures along the side of the body. The body is materialized into a diamond-like shape, laterally symmetrical. The organism has several legs; the anterior legs are pointed in shape while the posterior legs flatter, stubbier, and have the appearance of suction cups. Perhaps this is to better grip surfaces for climbing branches or leaves in its natural environment. On the opposing hand, its worm-like appearance may also suggest that it burrows underground.
Upon closer observation of the behavior of the organism, the body moves very fluidly, each of the segments moving in a wave-like fashion to propel itself forward, as well as if it needs to move backwards. The anterior side continues to rear up on its hind legs, perhaps to gain a better glimpse of its surroundings. Similarly, it has large eyes in the front of the head, which most likely suggest it uses its visual sense primarily. Judging by its body movements, the organism does not move quickly, meaning it must serve as easy prey for predators. The organism also has field markings on the posterior side of its head, as to ward off predators. The body does not respond to stimuli well. The anterior head and posterior segment of the organism appear to move independently of one another. It only moves along the outer ring of the cup.
Comments
It would be beneficial for
It would be beneficial for you if you were to re-read your paragraph just to make sure that you have capitalized words that appear at the beginning of new sentences.
These paragraphs blend
These paragraphs blend observed facts about the organism with possible explanations for the existence of these facts. In scientific literature, these two things appear in separate sections. The facts will appear in a results section, while possible explanations will appear in a discussion section. Doing this makes the paper easier to read, and also allows readers (and the author) to not mix facts with analysis of the facts, which may have less value to a reader.
The first part of your first
The first part of your first sentence seems a litle unnecessary, and also try to be consistent with the tense you are writing in.