Some form of larvae was provided for observation. The size was longer in length and wider in diameter then other provided larvae. It had a bilateral structure, with a body shape that the middle part of the body being wider the head and tail. It had a shape of an ellipse. The larvae had a segmented body with two red dots on each side and a light line crossing through the segment horizontally. The color of the body was creamy white, the head was dark red, and the very tip of the head and the tail was black. Counting the head as the first segment, the second, third and fourth segment had a larger red paired foot that kept on moving as it was trying to sense something on the wall. The larvae moved in a wave-like motion with the front part of the body first stretching out then the hind part of the body following it to bring back the length to normal. The back part of the body, the sixth and seventh segment had smaller paired feet compared to the frontal feet, which seemed to only function for walking. The fifth, ninth, and the tenth segment did not exhibit any feet. There was a long black line that ran through the top of the head to the tip of the tail and on the sixth segment, there was a black spot on the skin. For the behavior aspect, the larvae did not show curiosity to the food inside of the container. It only showed concern to the wall. It did not walk the middle of the container, but stayed on the outer side of it. The larvae also did not show any distraction when the lid of the container was hit few times to make sound, nor when the container was moved around. It kept on walking along the side. However, when the container was flipped, the larvae had a shock, in which it stopped moving for few seconds. After time, the larvae started to roll around to adjust its orientation, then started to move in the wave-like motion again.
Comments
This paragraph has a good
This paragraph has a good flow. It is detailed enough to allow someone to imagine it in their head.
The paragraph uses very good
The paragraph uses very good word choice and contains detailed descriptions. I would say to maybe organize your pragraph a bit more fluidly, like breaking it up into two paragraphs and maybe making one about the appearance and one about the behavior so that the reader can follow better.
This paragraph reads well,
This paragraph reads well, and is easy to follow. Some areas are worded a little awkwardly, for example "It had a bilateral structure, with a body shape that the middle part of the body being wider the head and tail", which I think would have been better phrased as something along the lines of "It had a bilateral structure, with a body that was shaped such that the middle part was wider than the head and tail". Also maybe consider giving approximate measurements for the length and width.
Different Paragraphs
One suggestion I have it possibly breaking up your paragraph. The paragraph talks about the physical aspects of the larva at the beginning but halfway through you begin to discuss the behavior of the organism. To avoid lengthy paragraphs I would suggest breaking these two ideas up since they are relatively different.
Suggestions
This paragraph is well written easy to understand. Also, I can picture the larvae worm in my hand without seeing it simply by reading this paragraph. One suggestion that I have is that next time you should separate this paragraph into different parts because it looks super long.