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Ecology Short Essay #2 Part 2 PP

Submitted by sbrownstein on Thu, 11/15/2018 - 11:53

Although ecology is not typically thought of as a subject in the medical field, it can play a role in environmental medicine. This uses environmental science, environmental pathology, and the knowledge of relationships between organisms and the environment to study the individual’s physical, mental and emotional responses to them. Although this may not directly relate to my path in the medical field, it is an important topic that may affect many other branches of the field. Without ecology, we would not be able to study the environmental, or other organisms, effects on human health.

 

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This uses environmental science, environmental pathology, and the knowledge of relationships between organisms and the environment to study the individual’s physical, mental and emotional responses to them.

To improve this sentence I think swapping out the word "this" for what it actually is would be beneficial. The reader would be less confused by whether you mean ecology or environmental medicine or something else.

You put in a sentence about not pertaining directly to your path in the medical field which felt out of place in the paragraph. You start off by saying enviornmental ecology is often not thought of as being a oart of  the environmental field, whihc sets up the rest of the paragraph to refute that notion. You should focus instead on expanding on the ideas of the second sentence and explaining how it does relate because of what you list.

I might suggest changing the final sentence for betting flow. For example you could write "Without ecology, we would not be able to study the effects that the environment and organisms have on human health".