The presence of fat makes the immune surveillance systems fail, a group of cells whose function is to destroy cancer cells. Research, led by Trinity College in Dublin has discovered new links between obesity and cancer, which explain why the body's immune systems fail to fight cancer cells when there is an excess of fat. The study, published in the journal Nature Immunology, analyzes the causes why the presence of fat makes fail the immune surveillance systems, which are formed by Natural killer, a type of natural killer cells whose function is to destroy cancer cells.
People with excess weight are more likely to suffer from type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and a wide range of infections, in addition to the fact that up to 50% of certain cancers are attributed to this pathology. Of course, there should be more ways to understand the ways in which obesity causes cancer and leads to other diseases and, therefore, to develop new strategies to prevent its progression.
Comments
I think you could improve the
I think you could improve the opening sentence, "The presence of fat makes the immune surveillance systems fail, a group of cells whose function is to destroy cancer cells" by moving the phrase at the end to the middle/ changing it to "The presence of fat makes the immune surveillance system, group of cells whose function is to destroy cancer cells, fail"since that phrase is a descriptor of the immune serveillance system itself and I think it flows better that way.
There should be more
There should be more information, especially background information. You kind of just jump into the material without offering some background information
I think the first comma in
I think the first comma in the second sentence is not needed. I also think these two paragraphs cold be combined into one with a good transition sentence.