As a student in the Fall 2018 Writing in Biology class at University of Massachusetts Amherst, I conducted a project to practice scientific writing and replication. In this project, students find a spider web on campus and create a multi-panel figure illustrating the location of the spider web. Students then create methods explaining how the student found the spider web; these methods also describe the steps taken to format the photographs into a multi-panel figure. Upon completing the original methods, a students follows another classmate’s methods and replicates the multi-panel figure based on those instructions. The students then observe the differences between the original and replicated multi-panel figure and use factors to infer why the differences are present. The possible differences between the two figures include variations in the size of the objects in the photo, lighting, cropping of the image, and font formatting. The factors that could affect the creation of the multi-panel figure include the time of day, sunlight, weather, or discrepancies in the methods. Overall, the purpose of this project is to practice writing concise and descriptive methods of an experiment, as well as provide practice for explaining differences between the two multi-panel figures.
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Your introduction is very precise which is great but you want to divert away from using I in your paragraphs as it gives it a more personal tone, the use of vague words should be avoided too like "infer" like i would have used concluded
I would be more specific and
I would be more specific and matter of fact in your paragraph. Also, I noticed you made some minor typos in the paragraph, such as saying "a students follow" instead of "a student follows."
In my opinion this sentence
In my opinion this sentence "The possible differences between the two figures include variations in the size of the objects in the photo, lighting, cropping of the image, and font formatting." isn't an exhaustive list of the differences that are possible, so I would maybe change it to something like "some possible..." or just skip it in general.