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Submitted by curbano on Wed, 10/17/2018 - 10:41

The angle of the camera as well as the position of the person holding the camera led to differences in the photographs used for Panel A and Panel B. Since the replicated Panel B has the ceiling of the building, it seems like my partner’s camera was pointed upward while mine was straight on. Additionally, my partner did not include as much of the rug, wall, or doorway as I did. This is most likely due to them standing closer to the Morrill 4 sign than I did. I could have been clearer when stating how far away from the rug I was standing in my methods. In the duplicated Panel A, the photograph is focused on the radiator pipe rather than the spider web. While I did state to take the photo 6 inches away from the wall while facing the doorway, they may not have completely understood what I meant.

 

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Good job just one quick thing, while writing the discussion try not to blame your self for the differences. Instead, itemize the factors that could have ledto the differences. Instead of saying, "I could have been clearer..." you could say what part of the direction could have been misinterpretted and leave it as that. 

In the first sentence, I believe that you should use commas to separate  "as well as the position of the person holding the camera" from the rest of the sentence. It might sound a little less wordy/ more clear if you just use "and" instead of "as w ell as." I think "whereas" would fit better than "while" in "it seems like my partner’s camera was pointed upward while mine was straight on." 

You could also include in the description of what you could have improved in your Methods a statement that you could have told your replicator to take the photograph straight on, since you listed that as a potential reason that the photos came out different. 
 
 
 

fmillanaj

Thu, 10/18/2018 - 17:57

There is a variation in the writing styles of this paragraph. Picking one style to write with and sticking with it would improve the paragraph immensely.