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Submitted by msalvucci on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 20:12

While sitting down on the bottom step of the staircase, a picture was taken of the spider web in the hole of the stair railing. A UMass ID card was placed right beneath the spider web to act as a scale for the web size. The IPhone camera was tilted upwards so that the background of the picture was a green tree; this dark background created great contrast that could be manipulated to make the spider web show up, despite it being bright outside. After a picture was taken that captured the small spider web, another photo was taken 10 steps backwards from the Lewis Hall main entrance. This picture was angled slightly to the right, so that the Lewis entrance sign was at the top left of the picture, and the stairs and right side railing were at the bottom left of the picture. This picture would be used to understand where the spiderweb was located.

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While I suppose the sentence "The IPhone camera was tilted upwards so that the background of the picture was a green tree; this dark background created great contrast that could be manipulated to make the spider web show up, despite it being bright outside." is grammatically correct, it can probably be split into two paragraphs and work just as well.

cgualtieri

Thu, 10/04/2018 - 22:55

I feel like saying 'understand where the spiderweb was located'  sounds a bit funny. I would use another word than understand or restructure that sentence. 

I really like the meticulous description in your paragraph.  The only thing I would tweak would be some of the non-descriptive words.  Maybe replace "right" with "directly" and "show up" with "visible".  Also, replacing "slightly" with a more exact unit such as feet or what changes in the frame of the picture may help clarify.  Really nice job though!