Before starting the exploration for a spider web, I brainstormed some locations that spiders may be present on campus. Initially, I thought to look in the old academic buildings on campus, such as Bartlett, Herter, or the Morrill Science Buildings. It was easiest for me to search in the Morrill Science Buildings first due to my class schedule, specifically Morrill II. When looking for a spider web in Morrill II, I knew to look in areas that were undisturbed. This was because undisturbed areas, such as corners and closets, would give a spider the opportunity to build a web without any complications. I slowly examined each hallway, looking in corners and stairwells. Finally, on the third floor, in the hallway connecting the Morrill II building and the Morrill III building, I came across a concaved rectangle in the wall. The groove in the wall looked untouched for a decent amount of time. I approached the bottom left corner of the groove and found a small spider sitting in the middle of a faint web. I took several pictures of the spider and its web with the flash on. Some pictures were facing down toward the web and some were taken against the left wall to display the definition of the web. The flash seemed to scare the spider further back into the corner, therefore I tried not to take excess pictures. In addition, I took a picture of the hallway the wall indentation was located to orient my reader as to where I found the spider web.
Comments
good paragraph but
This is a good paragraph but I don't think you need to go into so much detail about how you found the web. You want the person that gets your methods to be able to replicate your figure, so I would probably just cut down on the detail a little bit because they don't need that information for when they have to go locate your web.
Nice job! I do think that
Nice job! I do think that this sentence could be changed around or revised a bit to sound let choppy - "Finally, on the third floor, in the hallway connecting the Morrill II building and the Morrill III building, I came across a concaved rectangle in the wall". You could instead change it up by saying, "In a hallway on the third floor of Morrill......". Maybe this would take out some of the commas from the sentence and make it have better flow.