You are here

Perfect Paragraph- TC

Submitted by tcarmichael on Fri, 09/07/2018 - 15:30

Inside a small, clear container resides a spider. The spider is active, moving around the container, and prying its small, “daddy long legs” at the crease between the lid and container, likely in attempt to free itself. The spider is a very pale shade of gray in color. All eight of its legs are divided into three sections, and bent at different angles to aid the spider in holding itself upside down on the lid of the container. The entire spider itself is about the size of a quarter. Its legs are much longer than its body, approximately twice as big, and emerge out the top side of the spider. Four of the eight legs, more specifically the front two and back two, are being used to hold the spider in position. The other four legs are actively moving in various directions, crossing one another, and aiding the spider in feeling. Looking more closely, two pale gray eyes are visible, but are fixed in position. The body is divided into three oval sections.

Post:

Comments

The overall paragraph is well written. The conclusion, or ending sentence, of the paragraph lead the reader hanging and unstatisfied.

Hi! I like your writing style and your paragraph a lot. I received a comment that my scientific writing should be in the past tense, and I notice that you wrote your paragraph in the present tense, so I think if you changed the tense it would make your paragraph read more scientifically. Great wording and composition otherwise!