What appeared in my container was a seemingly simple, elongate insect in an early stage of its life cycle, perhaps its larval state. This organism was beige in color with a dark brown coloration at its head. This insect consisted of a head with a mouth and no eyes, a 3-4 cm long body separated into about 12 segments with 6 legs very proximal to its head, and a caudal end with what looked like two separate appendages sticking out at the end. This organism moves by first feeling its immediate surroundings with its true legs, then contracting, sending a wave from the caudal end of its body to the rostral end, grabbing the ground with pro-legs found near the middle and back of the ventral side of its body. Other notable visual characteristics include the dark coloration of the legs and the tiny dark spots that are present on either side of each segment of its body. There are no notable smells or sounds coming from the organism.
The way that the insect moves seems to be random. It grasps at surfaces, looking for obstacles until it decides to move forward. After shining a flashlight on it, I discovered an adverse reaction, so the organism prefers to be in the dark. It also has a hard time returning its legs to the ground once it has been flipped over.
Comments
Great Use of Quantitative Description
You used quantitative data to describe the larvae, which I thought was very good. Having the exact numbers to explain how the larvae looks like makes the reader be able to imagine it more clearly than just having a vague description. I think to improve your paragraph, I do not think you should use the word "my" or any first person because scientific papers have to be written in third person passive voice. Other than that, I liked your observation paragraph a lot!
One paragraph?
This looks to me like more than one paragraph. The perfect paragraph should be one (perfect) paragraph.
Since you know that the
Since you know that the insect is a larvae, you should mention that instead of calling it "insect".