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Larvae

Submitted by klaflamme on Fri, 01/25/2019 - 15:29

This is a yellow-tinged, cream-colored larvae that is approximately 3 centimetres long with six legs (three on the left side and three on the right, and two per segment of body) at the front of the body. There are 8 stub-like structures on segments 6-9 of the body that do not move (4 on the left, 4 on the right, 2 per segment) and 2 stubs on the end of the last segment (12th segment) that move independently. It has a dark brown head, and the first segment after the head is a lighter brown color. On the head, two eyes are visible and two hair like structures protrude from the side of each eye (perhaps antennae?) It has a brown dot on both sides (left and right) of segments 4-11 (could be pores?). The latter third of the body seems to move independently from the rest of the body. The larvae moves very slowly, if at all, which may indicate that it is nearing the pupal stage of life.

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Comments

Minor grammatical errors are present (no period after (perhaps antennae?))

Instead of asking questions in a parenthetical form, I think it would make the paragraph stronger if you asked questions in a statement form and elaborated on why you think something is what it is. For example, instead of saying "(could be pores?)", you could say something along the lines of "It's possible that the brown dots on both sides of its body on segments 4-11 could be pores, as that would serve as a way for oxygen to diffuse through the body since no other methods of oxygen retreival are visibly present". 

The paragraph is also just about its physical phenotype. Talking about the way it moves is a different category and including that in the same paragraph seems "not in line". You could start talking about its movement and behvavioral patterns in a different paragraph instead.

I really like the flow of ideas in the paragraph, how you describe what the larvae looks like, then what structures on the larvae might serve what purpose, then a prediction about what stage of life the larvae is in. I think the paragraph would flow better reading it if you try and incorporate what is in pararentheses into the sentences. So instead of "It has a brown dot on both sides (left and right)" maybe something like "It has brown dots on both the left and the right side". Overall I really like the structure of the paragraph.