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PP12

Submitted by angelinamart on Thu, 04/11/2019 - 21:17

For Ornithology class, we were divided into groups to study bird behavior. Our group became intrigued with the competition of feeding behavior among perching birds and ground foraging birds. The main question that continued to arise was whether there was a competitive relationship between these two groups, the first question being whether perching birds attracted foraging birds or not. As birds perch on a feeder and eat, seeds fall from the feeder to the ground. From this fact, our first goal was to examine if there was a correlation if perching birds being at a feeder leads to ground forager or other unrelated groups to come near the feeder and exhibit interspecie competition. Based on this data, our next question was whether there was a level of competition present among each group and between each group. The number of birds were counted in descrete values to observe how birds interacted with one another.

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Comments

I would start more formally than "for ornithology class." You say the main question that continued to arise was "x," but then you said "the first question." I would rephrase to account for both of your questions. You also mention goals - I would try to be more consistent with this wording, whatever you decide, for further clarity. :)

The flow of sentences in the beginning half of your paragraph seems to be rather all over the place. Examples being "our group became intrigued" and "the main question that continued to arise." They kind of sound like awkward sentences.

Starting the sentence "From this fact..." is unnecessary it can be removed to condense the paragraph.