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Perfect paragraph 5

Submitted by lpotter on Tue, 02/19/2019 - 18:31

The ebola virus is very complex. It has many different ways that it can evade the host’s immune system. For example, one way that the virus can “hide” is by using lipids from the host’s cells to make an outer membrane for itself. This lipid membrane tells the host’s immune system that the virus is self and to not attack it. If the virus can evade the immune system it can successfully replicate in the cells of the host. Ebola has been a documented virus for quite some time with the earliest observations dating back to the 1970s. It has only recently made headlines. This is because the virus kills the host so fast that anyone who comes in contact with it dies before the virus can find a new host. So the majority of ebola cases were very limited because infected people couldn't travel to spread it. In 2014 there was an outbreak which ended up killing more than 10,000 people. This was a new strain of ebola, the Zaire strain. This strain is just as deadly as previous ebola strains however it is unique in the fact that it has an extended incubation period, meaning that it kills the host at a slightly reduced rate. This now means that sick people are able to come in contact with more people than with previous cases. This strain is the cause of the current outbreak in which almost 1000 cases have been confirmed.

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Comments

Try avoiding the use of air quotes. For example instead of saying "hide" maybe use "disguise itself" or if there is a scientfic word for the actual mechanism than use that.

I would avoid using the word "sick." Instead, "infected" sounds more scientific. I'd also avoid starting a sentence with "so." Instead, you could shorten the sentence to: "Consequently, ebola cases were very limited."

I would try to avoid prefacing examples with "For example, one way..." Instead, I would suggest jumping right into the example since you prefaced in the sentence before what you'll be talking about. You can just say "The virus can hide..."