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Observations

Submitted by cynthiaguzma on Fri, 02/15/2019 - 13:10

The pupae has stayed in its shell for a week leading me to believe that it was dead. On February 10th at around 11 am the fly emerged from its enclosure. The pupae has been black and and a half an inch in length. It had a cylindrical shape to the shell with small ridges circling the exterior. On one end of the pupae there was a white ridge. When the fly emerged from the shell it emerged from the side that did not have the white ridge. There was a small slit on the side where the fly left. The fly has three legs on each side of its body for a total of six legs. It’s abdomen was black and it had two translucent wings. The fly spent some time exploring the small container and was able to walk on the sides of the container that as a larva it was unable to explore. After three hours I took the fly to the trash room and this is where I opened up the container and let the fly out. The fly struggled at first and barely made a few inches off the ground. It wobbles around trying to gain some balance before it finally was able to succeed and fly away.

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Comments

You switch between the present perfect and past tense. I think instead you should stay in the past tense throughout. For example, when you said "The pupae has stayed in its shell for a week...", I think you could just say "The pupae stayed in its shell for a week."

Read your paragraph after you finish writing it to make sure that everything is fine because you wrote "and" twice "The pupae has been black and and a half an inch in length". Also, stay in one tense when you write.