Protein being one of our major food groups in our health plate is also a very controversial topic when determining what is good or not good for the human body. There are different sources of protein such as meats, fish, nuts, beans/lentils, cheese and poultry. Red meat is said to be high in saturated fat and is classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the World Health Organization. A carcinogen is a substance that has the ability to cause cancer in living tissue, meaning that humans should limit the amount of red meat eaten a week. Although these meats such as lamb, beef and pork are 'probable' causes of cancer, they dont indicate the risk of getting cancer. There are benefits however to eating lean red meat such as vitamin B12, zinc and iron. Red meat is not only classified as being a probable cause of cancer, but it is also a leading cause of heart disease. In the states, cardiovascular disease is the number one leading cause of death. Many Americans should consider limiting the amount of red meat they eat and substitute it with a variety of other protein dense and vitamin dense foods such as tofu, fish and beans/lentils. A variety of vegetables also have a high content of protein and fiber such as broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and brussel sprouts.
Comments
Improvements
"Protein being one of our major food groups in our health plate is also a very controversial topic when determining what is good or not good for the human body." This needs to be reworded. Perhaps, "With protein being one of the major food groups, there is controversy over what is healthy and unhealthy". Try to stay away from the use of 'you' as we have learned to do in class.
"There are different sources of protein such as meat..." Maybe here you can introduce 'meat' as red meat (beef) and white meat (poultry). I wouldn't use the / in scientific writing, it seems a little too informal.
I don't really think you need to include what a carcinogen is because everyone knows what a carcinogen is. Also, using the word 'humans' sounds a little awkward, I would use people instead.
"Although these meats such as lamb, beef and pork are 'probable' causes of cancer, they dont indicate the risk of getting cancer." This is very awkward and contradictory to what you're trying to say, and you don't explain why. I would probably take this sentence out.
Work on the wording of things, and check spelling and grammar.
Suggestion
Great paragraph! I enjoyed reading this.
One suggestion I have is maybe ommitting a correlational statement; (I don't remember if that's the correct phasing). For example, when you say "A carcinogen is a substance that has the ability to cause cancer in living tissue, meaning that humans should limit the amount of red meat eaten a week".
Yes we should limit how much red meat we eat, but anything in large consumption is not good for the body. It's unnecesary to follow the definition statement with a statement that is not directly caused by the former.
Comment 3
The first two sentences can be cleaned up to start the paragraph on a stronger note. The first sentence is a bit confusing and can be organized better. For example: "Protein is one of our major food groups, but it is a very controversial topic when determining a healthy diet." The second sentence can then be changed to the active voice: "Meats, fish, nuts, beans/lentils, cheese and poultry are different sources of protein."