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Ecology Question Perfect Paragraph

Submitted by rdigregorio on Thu, 02/14/2019 - 12:23

The studying of ecology, the ways in which different organisms interact with each other and their environments, could prove itself to be very useful in my field of study. This is because many of our medicines have been derived from other organisms directly or about what we’ve learned in these organisms’ behavioral patterns. For example, one of the most recent studies on lobsters provides evidence that humans may be able to slow down the body’s aging process by essentially reconstructing and imitating the telomerase cells found in lobsters. These cells make the lobster biologically immortal as they can live for many years if they avoid being eaten. Without our ability to study these animals’ interactions in their communities we would have never came across such an interesting study.  

 

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Comments

Instead of using the word many, give a specific amount of time. 

I think it might be a good idea to combine the first 2 sentences so you can more directly state how ecology applies to your field. I think doing this could make your topic sentence more focused on how ecology applies to medicine. I also think your last sentence should be more focused and say something about how the example you provided demonstrates how ecology is useful in your field.

It should be "the study of ecology," not "the studying of ecology." Also, take out the "my" in the first sentence.