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The Case of the Deformed Frogs

Submitted by klaflamme on Fri, 02/08/2019 - 10:58

In 1995, Minnesota middle school students sampled frogs in a nearby pond and found that half of them were deformed, and it  was discovered soon after that this was a widespread occurrence. A total of 8 frog and toad species were affected by this. Approximately 0.2% of frogs found in the area were deformed from 1973 to 1993, and that percentage increased to 2.3% by 1996. The cause of this deformity was found to be a species of trematode, Ribeiroia ondatrae, which are flatworm parasites that cause deformities and sometimes death in frogs. Trematode larvae in frogs cause cysts. If the cysts are in a developing tissue, it can cause a deformity; for example, if the cysts are found in a tissue that is developing legs, the cysts can cause extra or truncated legs. The occurrence of deformities in the frogs in the area had increased due to runoff of Atrazine, an herbicide (which is banned in the European Union and other developed countries) which kills plants in a pond, causing them to decompose and ultimately cause eutrophication of the pond. This eutrophication of ponds led to more snails in which trematodes begin their lives. The trematodes then move from the snails into the frogs, causing the deformities.

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Comments

Avoid using passive voice such as "was discovered", "were affected", "had increased". 

The opening sentence is too long and should be broken up into two different sentences. "In 1995, Minnesota middle school students sampled frogs in a nearby pond and found that half of them were deformed. It  was discovered soon after that this was a widespread occurrence."

Overall good paragraph!

I'd like to suggest that you break up some of your sentences. The flow of ideas is there, but sometimes there are two ideas instead of just one in some sentences.