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Perfect paragraph week 5

Submitted by jkswanson on Fri, 10/05/2018 - 11:32

The very first thing that I did was look up where spiders like to make their webs. I searched "where do spiders make their webs in northeast America. It gave me limited information basicallt saying that depending on the type they can live in many different places from trees to grass to manmade things.  This led me to begin my search in my backyard which is the Newman center and the trees next to the mahar lecture hall. I looked in the volleyball court net next to Newman center and the bulletin board by the entrance of mahar, I found nothing. I then looked in the trees and found a few webs and used a measuring tape to compare the size of each web. The first two were about 5 inches in size and the third one I found was about seven to eight inches in diameter.  I then used the camera app on the iPhone to compare how each web looked in through the camera lens initially without any effects. The third web contained a leaf in it which helped as a reference for size and to help display the web itself. The third web was clearly the best web for the picture so I chose to move forward with that one.

 

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Comments

There are some grammatical issues, but otherwise, the paragraph has good flow. 

You incorporate the way you found the web which is an important part of the project, but not necessarily important for the reader. In the methods section you can jump right to what web you did use and leave out any preliminary choices in determining the web. Simply lead the reader to the particular web used and how it was photographed. The background of size and picture quality are background details of choice.

In "The first two were about 5 inches in size and the third one I found was about seven to eight inches in diameter." you wrote to the first unit of measurement in its numerical value but in the end of the sentence it is written as words.