You are here

Home » Blogs » bthoole's blog

Spider Class Activity Perfect Paragraph

Submitted by bthoole on Fri, 09/07/2018 - 15:32

Upon first seeing the spider, it was apparent that the legs were too long to be kept in the container. While the front legs appeard to fit fine, they were smaller in size. It was the large back legs that would buckle and contort back onto the spider. The legs themselves appeard to have two joints where they were capable of bending. This allowed for three separate areas for the leg, an ascending, transverse, and a descending area. Of course, the legs could also straighten and it would appear that the leg was straight. There was no designation that the leg was capable of in fact bending in multiple places. However, in knowing that the legs did bend, it was observed that at each bend there were bands of white and black that did not match the rest of the spider's coloration. While some legs had a black, white, black banding, others consisted of just two bands of black and then white or were solely white.

 

Post:

Comments

cgualtieri

Fri, 09/07/2018 - 15:37

This is a good perfect paragraph because it focuses on one specific aspect of your spider observation. After reading it I had a good picture of what your spider was doing and how it looked even though you only talked about its legs.

yurigarcia

Sun, 09/09/2018 - 21:24

I really liked your paragraph it is well written and it gives me the exact image of what a spider look like.

This paragraph gave good detail on one aspect of the spider and it was well focused. I like that you didn't try to fit in a full description in a small space but rather gave greater detail on one aspect. 

I really liked the heavy description in your paragraph.  One thing that I personally got mixed up in while reading your paragraph was the lists of descriptors you used.  For example, " This allowed for three separate areas for the leg, an ascending, transverse, and a descending area."  I think a semicolon would maybe have increased the clarity there.  Another sentence that tripped me up while I was reading was "While some legs had a black, white, black banding, others consisted of just two bands of black and then white or were solely white."  Expanding that sentence into two sentences would add coherence to the description.  Overall a really nice paragraph though!