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Whale strikes

Submitted by curbano on Thu, 09/13/2018 - 20:15

Whale ecotourism is a growing economic sector of many countries and coastal cities. Many of these large, aquatic mammals are threatened or endangered, according to standards set by both the United State’s Endangered Species Act and international legislation. Bringing these factors into account, it has become of interest to some conservationists the effect of boat traffic and especially whale-watching traffic on the welfare of these unique creatures. Boat strikes are the most concerning interaction between human vessels and whales, but there is plenty of evidence pointing towards other effects on their welfare besides physical injury and death. Presence of vessels can negatively affect whale behavior. The loud noises from vessels can block whale calls, ultimately affecting whales from communicating or mating effectively. Additionally, strikes can harm or even kill whales.

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Hi, this paragrah was a really interesting read for me because I honestly know next to nothing about ecology. That being said, I would rearrange some of your sentences. For example, the second sentence could say "According to standards set by both the United State's Endangered Species Act and international legislation, many of these large aquatic mammals are threatened or endangered". The following sentence could also use some work because it doesn't really flow how it is currently written. Another thing that you could do is to remove the sentence "Presence of vessels can negatively affect whale behavior" because the next sentence does a good job of showing rather than explicitly stating it. Finally, I would just try to add a sentence to close off the paragraph. 

Excellent job! My only suggestion for improvement would be to check your use of the possesive form of the United States. In the context of the paragraph it should "by both the United States' Endangered Species Act and international legislation".

The statement "many countries and coastal cities" is a place to consider parallelism. Coastal cities are parts of countries. Consider rewording to make the comparison parallel.