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PP- Lungfish

Submitted by mtracy on Thu, 10/04/2018 - 21:00

African lungfish live in areas where there is a heavy wet season and a very dry season. When it is wet, the lungfish will live in, generally shallow water or very muddy, wet land. It is during this time the lungfish will reproduce. Female lungfish will make a burrow underwater, which it will fill with decaying plant material. The males then guard the egg chamber until the eggs hatch. During this period, the male lungfish will develop pelvic gills. Pelvic gills are very different from respiratory gills. In fact, they act in the opposite direction. Rather than taking in oxygen, they expel it. This is done to oxygenate the water surrounding the eggs, allowing the lungfish embryo’s to survive in stagnant water with their limited gills.

Once mating is over and the waters begin to recede, the lungfish will create a burrow in the ground for itself. While in this chamber the lungfish will excrete a large amount of mucus, filling the chamber and making a mucus cocoon. Lungfish can be sustained in this cocoon for months at a time, until the area in which it lives becomes wet again.

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Comments

In the first paragraph, second sentence, there is a comma after the words 'live in' that does not belong there and makes the sentence feel choppy. 

You use a lot of commas in the first paragraph; particularly the second sentence.The content of the paragraph is very interesting, but I think it could benefit from further proof-reading. 

It feels as though the two paragraphs share similar thoughts and ideas. It may serve some good to condense them into one cohesive paragraph.