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Submitted by amdicicco on Thu, 11/08/2018 - 10:49

Pond water organisms are very important in ponds and how they function. They are responsible for things such as nutrient cycling, water quality, disease control and other things like the nutrition of cultured species (Moriaty 2017). Species diversity in microorganisms and things such as protozoans and algae can vary between bodies of water even if they are in close proximity. We wanted to see which pond on the UMass Campus would have a higher diversity index of organisms. We ran a lab and looked at samples from both the Sylvan Pond and Campus Pond and used the Shannon Diversity index formula to figure out which had a higher and more even diversityThe Sylvan pond has murky water and is in a more wooded area than the Campus Pond. In addition, the Campus pond is maintained while the Sylvan pond is not. Before the experiment, we hypothesized that the Sylvan pond would be more diverse than the Campus Pond. After the experiment, we concluded that the Campus pond is actually more diverse than the Sylvan pond, but the Sylvan pond has higher richness. Our results tell us that the Campus pond is more robust, and therefore, better equipped for survival.

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Great paragraph! The only suggestion I can make is to avoid using ambiguous words, such as "things".

You introduce the topic as "pond water organisms" but then go on to talk about microorganisms. Pond water organisms gives a larger impression and can include marcoscopic organisms as well. If you are only looking at microorganisms and calculating Shannon Index from a microscope slide of the pond water, then this is something you should make clear, that these are the types of organisms you are lookign at. 

Good paragraph. The only thing I noticed was when you said 'we ran a lab' in the 5th sentence, and I was not sure what this meant. I would reword that to make it more clear.