In the fall semester of 2018 in my Writing in Biology Class, I conducted a project where the purpose was to take a picture of a spider web, it’s habitat, and a map of the area. Then I had to write a methods section being precise enough so that someone else could attempt to replicate my image exactly. After my procedure was followed there were many differences in the original vs the replica. In Figure A and B they are entirely different as the spider web and the tree itself were different, most likely because of the foul weather all that week. The panel itself was also different in the text used and the shape and size of each picture in the collage. Figure C, the map, also differed as the replica was the entire map and the original was zoomed in around the area searched. These differences can be attributed to lack of precision in the methods section. The overall panels were very different in the way they were presented and edited.
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Perfect Paragraphs
Each week, post your own Perfect Paragraph and comment on three Perfect Paragraphs. Suggest improvements. Don't just say "Looks good."
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Comments
This paragraph is well
This paragraph is well-developed and gives a great overview of the project. The only suggestion I would make is to avoid unecessary words, such as "then" and "most likely".
I think some commas should be
I think some commas should be added in a few different places. "Then(,) I had to write a methods section being precise enough so that someone else could attempt to replicate my image exactly." "After my procedure was followed(,) there were many differences in the original vs the replica." " In Figure A and B(,) they are entirely different as the spider web and the tree itself were different, most likely because of the foul weather all that week."