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introduction

Submitted by kruzzoli on Thu, 10/11/2018 - 23:12

When taking the pictures for the figure panels I used 4 elements as controls. The time of day when the pictures were taken at 9:55 in the morning, the ucard was used for scale, the orientation of the ucard was vertical and backwards, and the location of the images was set. A time was given so that the pictures would have similar lighting. The ucard was used for scale because all students are UMass are issued a ucard, so whoever recreated the figure would have one. The orientation and the direction of the ucard was also a control so that the scale would be the same. The location of the figure panel images was also controlled and Morrill was used because this is a building all students in the class know since this is where class is held. Some variables that I identified that could not be controlled include weather, type of camera, platform used to create figure panel, and distance and angle of the photographer relative to the building. Weather is uncontrollable and different weather could affect the quality of the images. The type of camera is also an uncontrolled variable because a standard camera was not used. This also applies to the platform used to create the figure panel. The exact location of the person taking the images is also a variable because the positions were not marked.  

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Based on the previous sentence I would maybe change the second sentence to something like this: "The time of day when the pictures were taken, the ucard used for scale, the orientation of the ucard, and the location of the images." This way you can describe them in more detail later in the paragraph and simultaneously decrease the wordiness.

You may even want to consider condensing further. When you list the controls you mention the ucard twice, once for scale and again for the orientation. Instead you could say you used it as an element to control and then later explain that it was the size and orientation that were tried to be held constant.

Good start, but an intro should contain more background information about the project. It would help the readers get a grasp on what you are talking about.