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Diabetes PP

Submitted by msalvucci on Thu, 09/20/2018 - 17:29

Diabetes mellitus is a disease that negatively affects the body’s ability to obtain energy from food. There are two forms of diabetes mellitus; type one and type two. Both of these types result from a defect in the negative feedback loop that regulates blood sugar levels. The negative feedback loop in a patient without diabetes works by using a sensor, effector, and control center. The pancreatic beta cells, which act as a sensor, detect an increase in blood sugar after the patient eats food. The pancreas also acts as the control center and is directed to release insulin into the blood. The insulin facilitates the reuptake of glucose from the cells, therefore, working as the effector to lower the blood sugar levels.

A patient with type one diabetes creates antibodies that destroy the pancreatic beta cells, therefore, damaging the sensor and control center of the negative feedback loop. As a result, the pancreas does not know to secrete insulin and leaves the blood glucose levels abnormally high. On the other hand, patients with type two diabetes do not have these antibodies; instead, they suffer from insulin resistance. In this case, the damaged part of the negative feedback loop is the effecter, as the cells do not respond to the insulin secretion. If the cells are not sensitive to the insulin, the glucose is not able to readily enter the cell, thus resulting in high blood sugar. In both cases, the damaged negative feedback loop fails to bring the blood sugar back to normal and can result in further complications. 

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Comments

I think you should probably introduce the function of the body's regulatory feedback loop first, then describe how diabetes is a malfunction in this system. For example: "Blood glucose is normally regulated by.... blah blah blah. However, in people with diabetes there is a defect in this negative feedback loop." and so forth. Good and informative paragraph, just needs some reorganzing!

I think more background data would help someone who doesn't have much knowledge on this topic understand the subject much more. 

Instead of using semicolon, which separates two independent clauses, use colon s a substitute for dash. Example: "There are two forms of Diabetes mellitus: type one and type two". You also don't need to use 'therefore' as a connecting word between two phrases if the second word is simply describing the direct action of the first phrase's subject. Otherwise, great paragraphs. And, good job on following through with the themes of the topic sentences!