One of the most notable parts of a spider's body is its legs. After observation of the spider it is noticed that it acts very still when it is being left alone. A slight tap on the desk causes the spider to become more lively. As it starts to move around the cup it is observed that the spider's walking pattern seems off. The spider seems to favor walking on its left side. Upon further investigation it is noticed that the spider has an injury. The injury is to one of the spider's legs which has fallen off. The legs of the spider are brown and about three times the length of the spider's body. They are brown in color, and broken into three segments. Between the segement closest to the spider's body and the middle segment is a joint. The joints on the spider's legs are almost black and very small in size. The joints are the highest points of the spider when it is resting flat on the surface of the container. As the spider becomes more active it crawls to the top of the container where it draws its legs inward and hangs on by only one part of its body. The legs of a spider are very important for movement and survivial and often is what makes it distinguishable as a spider.
Comments
Interesting observations
You made some interesting observations about the way that the spider moved, behaved, and the morphology of the legs. I liked how this paragraph specifically focused on locomotion, rather than the spider as a whole. I would just watch out for the use of present tense.
Great paragraph
reading your paragraph made me realize of some things i didn't observed the cellar spider.
Mixing of tenses
You made a good choice in separating the description of the spider into multiple paragraphs. By keeping this paragraph contained to the legs and how the spider moved you made it easier to come to it completely on its own and still have an understanding. I agree cdkelly that the tenses need to be looked at more carefully. While scientific writing is supposed to be in the past tense, it seemed as though you set it up in the beginning of a sentence but then moved into the present tense with words like "is". For instance, your second sentence begins with "after observation" which implies this to be past tense, but is followed with "it is noticed" instead of "was noticed".
It is suggested in scientific
It is suggested in scientific writing to omit unnecessary words and phrases, in this case I think that the sentence "They are brown in color" could be simplified to "They are brown".