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AQ 11/7 Perfect Paragraph

Submitted by atquang on Thu, 11/07/2019 - 21:39

The overall objective of our proposal is to identify a subject that contains a highly conserved gene that can be characterized by the amount of expression. One specific aim the proposal has is to identify highly conserved genes that are present in the Animalia kingdom. In preliminary work, we found that one example of a highly conserved gene is the BOP1 gene present in ribosomal DNA. Further research done on HOX genes has noted that “[the duplication of HOX clusters] are shared by all vertebrae.”1 The statement motivated our group to propose that the HOX genes express little variation in vertebrae, and test the statement by knowing how consistent this data would be if we were to expand our subject of interest to a whole kingdom, rather than specific subjects used for their evidence (chicken, zebrafish, Xenopus, and newt). We will now look into HOX genes to see how similar or different expression of the HOX gene is throughout the Animalia kingdom.



I believe you should not start the paragraph with "the overall objective of our proposal" perhaps you can introduce the subject first... then speak of the objective 

You mention that HOX genes have little expression in "vertebrae" whereas I think you're trying to say "vertebrates".

I think the BOP1 gene should be italicized