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Abstract

Submitted by asalamon on Mon, 10/14/2019 - 14:57

At Harvest, a food market on the campus of UMass, Amherst, evidence of phytophagy, the salad bar, was photographed and put into a multipanel figure including a map.  The methods and materials of creating the original multipanel figure was given to another student to replicate. The differences between the original and replicated included the perspective of the photo in each panel, the quality of the images, and the design of the multipanel figure.  During analysis, the differences were attributed to a variety of factors including time of day, stocking of Harvest, and the camera used to take the image

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mpetracchi

Mon, 10/14/2019 - 22:53

At Harvest, a food market on the campus of UMass, Amherst, evidence of phytophagy, the salad bar, was photographed and put into a multipanel figure including a map.

It seems to me that this sentence could be broken up so the ideas flow better. Specifically removing ',the salad bar,' and making that a second sentence. Maybe even removing ', a food market...' and adding that to the second sentence as well

 

ekirchner

Fri, 10/18/2019 - 12:33

There are more commas the necessary. Consider splitting up sentences so that they're not so run-on, it gets confusing.

 

This phrase: 'the differences were attributed to a variety of factors' is unnecessary. Simply state what the factors are.