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Perfect Paragraph 3

Submitted by ashorey on Fri, 09/20/2019 - 23:42

Assisted suicide is widely debated in medicine, but the politics around it and reality of what it acually is are very different. There are currently only 10 states that explicitly allow physician assisted suicide, others either having modern or historical laws that prohibit it or no statute on the subject at all. Ten states understand the reality of why assisted suicide exists: not to kill people, but to save them. Picture that you are 35 years old, have a teenage son that you raised alone and through hardship, and the bond you have with him is a life-and-purpose-defining bond, and just last year you met the love of your life and got married. You now have a solidified family of your own that didn't know was possible since your son's father left you. Now, you're focussing on your career; You've always wanted to work as a high ranking nurse in medicine, but the pay wall and lack of a degree held you back until 7 years ago when you made the move to get your PhD in nursing. This month you are going to defend your dissertation and graduate. You'll have the career, love, family, and future you always wanted. Then you have a seizure. You don't know why it happened, and it scares you. You recover, but then a month later, another one happens. You black out and wake up in an emergency room. A day in a hospital later, and you know why you have seizures: glioblastoma, or in other terms, the most deadly brain cancer. The next year of your life now looks very different from how you pictured it. Hospital visits, bills and costs, trials and placebos, and cancer treatment that invades your body in its attack on your tumor. Eventually, you're given a month to live and all your effort in fighting is just elongating the dying process. The cancer starts to impact your speech, your motor control, your bladder control. Everything is deteriorating and you are wondering if you're even still you anymore. Why should a vote in a court room hundreds of miles away decide the you must suffer to the end of your disease fueled death as your spouse, your son, your friends all watch you fade into a hospital bed, unable to talk, walk, and at times even understand whats going on, for the last week of your life? Instead, gracefully and debilberately ending the suffering that bares down on you as you begin to question your own perception of the world around you is a more humane way to be in control of your life and experience in living. 

 

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Comments

This paragraph is very powerful and really conveys how you seem to feel about this issue. It definitely isn't written in a scientific manor but more like a story. I'm not sure if the perfect paragraphs are supposed to be written like scientific paper or not. Your word choice was excellent and meaningful, interesting to read. 

this was very cool! I think it is cool that you gave a scenario to imagine because it ended up becoming a more visual story than a scientific paragraph. super interesting to read

  • thesis is a factual statement 
  • hook is a vague statement/interpretation of the writing 
  • paragraph should lead to other 
  • don’t assume that the reader understands the quote, explain the meaning of the quote to your argument. 
  • each paragraph should be related to the other. The entire paragraph should flow. 
  • hook: a unique observation/interpretation about the book of study. It is an organizing line of thought through the piece of writing. the hook should you original idea. each paragraph paragraphs should return to the hook. 
  • thesis: statements that can be proven true. they are factual statements. Is a claim that can be true or false. 
  • do not promise a thesis or make a generalized statement 
  • do not establish a period, or the story starts here, this is establishing the plot 
  • you need to have a central argument throughout the paper.