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METHODS Intro Perfect Paragraph

Submitted by ashorey on Fri, 09/13/2019 - 11:46

For my project, I am interested in photographing the phytophaging subject of a caterpillar web in a tree where the caterpillars eat the leaves. I have witnessed this phenomenon many times at home in my backyard, while driving on the highway staring out the window, and in the apple orchards in my grandparents' yard. The trees can be bright green but the small clusters of caterpillars devour the leaves in there nest so that they turn brown and decay. This has not been observed on campus so the project subject may have to be a different matter. First taking pictures of greenery on campus that has evidence of phytophagy and then decidingwhich to use for the figure might be the approach best suited for the project. After collecting pictures, they will have to be analyzex to ensure the presumed phytophaging happening is actually phytophagy evidence. The format for the figure will include the first photo of phytophagy with a hand or finger in the frame for scale on the left upper corner and next to it with little spacing the distant photo with arrows highlighting the examples. Both photos will be squares and then the map will be oriented on the right upper corner and will be rectangular as to accomadate the shape of the UMass campus. The process of obtaining a guaranteed original map may be of issue, so Inkscape will be used to create an original image representing the campus by usage of reference photos of similar maps of the campus. The map will include symbols or images of places of reference on campus and the photo of the phytophagy itself at its location taken. 

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Comments

You forgot to add a space between "decidingwhich". Stuff like this is easy to miss when proof reading. I love your idea for the project!

Try to avoid describing what you intend to do in the experiment, save that for the methods section where you described what you actually did. An introduction serves to provide some background, and for this project, illustrates what you sought to control in the interest of replicability. This introduction describes what you intend to do, rather than providing the necessary background.
 

In one of your sentences you wrote ".... Both photos will be squares...". I would suggest using the active voice for this area.