In this research paper, the research shows that the disease in the photoreceptor cells also affects the cells that are around those cells, this changes how the disease should be studied. In the study, the conclusion of the experiment is that the loss of photoreceptors changed the number and morphology of the glial cells such as astrocytes and Muller cells. The change in the number and morphology of the glial cells affected the retina and as a result, may be an important part of the retinitis pigmentosa which was previously only thought to affect cone cells. Because the disease affects other cells and not just the cone cells, there is a need in the cellular and tissue level model to mimic how the cells behave in the disease. In addition, any further research into the treatment for the disease needs to take into account how the treatment would affect the cells surrounding the photoreceptors. For example, if a drug only really works to fix the one problem that is wrong with the mutated protein, this may not necessarily fix the damage that has already present in the surrounding tissue. By taking into account these issues, the treatment will have a higher chance of performing well in the clinical trials, leading to a faster treatment that can be released into the market.
Comments
word choice
"In this research paper, the research shows that" uses the word research twice, and does not flow well. Try using another word, such as study, analysis, etc.
Repetition
In the first sentence, "cells" is used three times. Later, "number and morphology" is used two sentences in a row. Maybe try and mix up your wording, or rephrase sentences so they flow better!
word choice/sentence flow
Hi, great paragraph, but the sentence flow need some work so it is difficult to understand your paragraph. I suggest you to start your paragraph with a main idea, then provide your explanantion to back up your main idea.
For example; "In this research paper, the research shows that the disease in the photoreceptor cells also affects the cells that are around those cells, this changes how the disease should be studied." can be changed to "the research suggests that"