You are here

Daily Activity Perfect Paragraph

Submitted by bkrislov on Fri, 09/13/2019 - 15:40

Organized periods of my day:
Organization, maintenance and prep period
Active day period
Evening recreational and free time period

 

Active Day Period:
At 11:20 I left via bicycle to the IBS building to arrive for an 11:30 AM Organic Chemistry class. The class went until 12:45 PM, and was composed of in class questions and lecturing. From 12:45-1PM I rode my bike to get a cup of tea and then travel to a 1 PM JPN preforming arts class. The class lasted until 2:15 PM, and afterwards I took a short walk with a classmate to listen to his plan proposals for starting a new club that helps pre-med students find work abroad. This meeting took about 30 minutes, until aproximately 2:45 where I began traveling via bike to downtown Amherst to meet up with my MCAT prep study group. The group dissolved around 4 PM and I traveled back onto campus for dinner and socialization.

Post:

Comments

This paragraph is very chronological, and while that does serve a purpose in some texts, to better fit the exercise it can be arranged to be more about the story-telling aspect of why those activites are being told together. 

You wrote IBS instead of ISB, I really hope you didn't mean IBS.

I would avoid using descriptive words for a perfect paragraph as you did when you wrote “the group dissolved”