The class period today was dedicated to analyzing our leaf samples that we collected yesterday. Our group began to take measurements of the length of the leaf mines, but soon realized that it may not be necessary. Dr. Long recommended that we take a breath and sit down and try to determine what it is that we are trying to show with our data. So Ivan, Stefanie, and me sat down and began to hash out what it is we need from our data. Since we are only looking at mines that are only suspected of being Stigmella multispicata and nothing else we just need to determine what makes the mines on each leaf different, and what makes them the same. After looking at the leaves for a while Ivan noticed that none of the mines crossed the mid rib section of the leaf. This is important because that is one of the characteristics that the dichotomous key lists about S.multispicata. With that and a few more observations we came up with quantifiable measurements and observations that we could use to develop a results and discussion section. After a real slow start and several restarts the project is taking shape and looking good. I couldn't have asked for a better team to work with.
Comments
Weirdly spoken sections, comma usage
Some sections are very informal along with small grammatical mistakes. There are also some spots where you could omit a few words and be a little more succint
The class period today was dedicated to analyzing our leaf samples that we collected yesterday.
I would remove today, as by specifying yesterday you already give context it was today but thats really minor
Dr. Long recommended that we take a breath and sit down and try
This is more of the informnal speech thing I was mentioning, this is fine in converstational speach but makes a run on sentance
what it is that we are trying to show with our data.
This could be trimmed out to be less conversational
and me
and I*
Since we are only looking at mines that are only suspected of being Stigmella multispicata and nothing else
starting with since actually starts with a parenthetical clause. If its not a sentance, but describes the sentance, it needs to be seperated with a comma so corrected it would be
Since we are only looking at mines, that are only suspected of being Stigmella multispicata, and nothing else, we just need to determine what makes the mines on each leaf different, and what makes them the same
each fragment only describes the main piece of your sentance or the piece that came before it when you start with the clause.
Since we are only looking at mines - not a sentance
that are only suspected of being Stigmella multispicata - not a sentance, but describes the last piece
and nothing else - not a sentance adds extra to the last two pieces
we just need to determine what makes the mines on each leaf different. - This is a sentance and the rest describes this or other parts of the descriptors
The next sentance does the same thing, there should be a comma before Ivan. Same with the closing paragraphs