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In Class Observations of Unknown Specimen

Submitted by brdougherty on Sun, 09/10/2017 - 16:44

It appears to have 16 legs however it uses the upmost 6 legs in order to turn over. It also appeals to be an insect closely related it a maggot. It has an off white appearance with reddish orange eyes, black face and prominent black spots on his right side towards the bottom. It is soft and mushy in texture and also has an orange striped band before you reach the head. The body shrinks and extends when the creature moves almost as if the body is moving in segments. It also has noticeable posterior and anterior ends.


When body is fully extended it measures approximately 23mm from anterior to posterior ends. However, when the body is shrunk and unmoving it measures about 16mm in length. At the widest point on the body it measures about 3mm. The head measures about 1.5mm in both length and width. The creature also has the ability to lift his head by lifting his front few legs into the air. It also has a noticeable ventral line.  There was an estimated 11 segments. 



This is a good piece of writing. I like how the measurements are nice and concise and you give different measurements for when it's fully extended and when it's not. The descriptive rhetoric paints a vivid picture of the creature. I would say to just proofread a little more as in the second sentence you say "appeals" where I think you might have meant appeal. Great paragraphs!