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Arthropod in a Cup

Submitted by tterrasi on Tue, 09/12/2017 - 21:05

          A translucent plastic cup contained what appears to be an arthropod, or some type of maggot in its larval stage. Upon first observations, it is noticed to have a brown colored head and a segmented body with a variation of white and yellow colors. The body is of a soft nature, and the head is hard-shelled. Closer inspection shows the front of the head, its mouthparts, are black colored. There is a long lateral line that runs from the head to the tail on the dorsal side. The organism moves around the cup, as through it has a purpose, whether it is scavenging for food and energy, or searching its surroundings. It moves across the bottom of the plastic cup slowly, as if the legs are not getting enough traction or there is little friction with the bottom of the cup. While watching it move, I noticed it had hair-like structures across the length of the body. A few minutes later, I decided to turn it on its dorsal side to get a closer look underneath. I then saw pairs of legs; three pairs of front legs and 4 pairs of middle legs that do not look like the other pairs of appendages, but more like structures for suction. After flipping itself back to a normal position, the organism has stopped moving, and now resides in the middle of the plastic cup.



I liked that your paragraph had a good introduction and it wrapped up nicely with your closing sentance. I think you could have gone into more detail about the specific locomotion. You did make very specific observations, which was helpful for visualizing the insect. I think you could have gone into more detail however, on the specific size of it. 

I noticed that your paragraph starts off being more observational and progresses into something like a narrative. More first person sentences are used in the second half of your paragraph. I like that you called the larva "it" and the "organism" because we were unclear exactly what type of organism it was.

Overall very rich language and descriptive use! The only thing I would potentially look at is the passive voice. Normally I understand that in scientific writing we tend to avoid using first person, but you did use first person through the paragraph, which is totally fine, but then you don't need to use the passive voice (". Upon first observations, it is noticed ...")