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perfect para

Submitted by bmoreau on Thu, 11/16/2017 - 08:29

Our method is strong because we took the time to go inside the library and measure each floor from the tile to the ceiling. We did not rely on our eyesight and did not just simply count bricks on the outside of the building. It is impossible to know the distance of the blocks above all the windows at the very top of the building just by looking at it. Other groups relied on this method and I think it makes it less accurate than ours.




Your paragraph is good but it leaves alot of questions unanswered. What were you measuring the library for? If you were measuring the height of the library, did you take into account the depth of the floor/ceilings?

I feel like there isnt context to what you are saying so it is confusing to understand. Since it is a short passage, there is a lot left to speculation on what occurred.

Instead of saying you did not rely on your eyesight I would suggest saying you didn't simply estimate the height of the floors based on solely oberservation.