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Perfect Paragraph: Background

Submitted by brdougherty on Fri, 11/10/2017 - 12:04

The three forms of sweetener observed are pure sucrose, pure brown sugar, and pure saccharin. The chemical formula for sucrose is C12H22O11 and in a similar experiment it was found that sucrose produces a rewarding effect in planarians (Sciencedirect). Them chemical formula for brown sugar is the same as sucrose however it has molasses present in it. While we hypothesis that similar results will be seen in sucrose and brown sugar it has yet to be seen if planarians have a preference between the two. Saccharin which is commonly referred to as sweet n’ low has a chemical formula of C7H5NO3S. Saccharin offers effectively no food energy but is however approximately 300-400 times sweeter than sucrose. While no experiment was done to show if planarians prefer saccharin the group i interested to see if the planarians have a preference for the artificial sweetener.




I believe you made an error in spelling "The" at the beginning of the second and third sentences. I think that you should write a little bit more about how the presence of molasses might affect the results.

Strengthening your topic sentence would go a long way towards making your writing more clear and easier to follow. Good paragraph though!

Overall, I would just re-read the paragraph over again for spelling and grammar errors. I think that would go a long way. I also agree that a stronger topic sentence could make the paragraph more whole, in terms of sentence ideas flowing smoothly.