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Larva observation

Submitted by chengqian on Tue, 09/12/2017 - 12:25

It is likely to be a larva. It is hard to see its eyes. There are about ten segments of its body. The length of it is 1.8cm and the width is about 0.3cm. The length of each of its leg is about 0.1cm. Its tail is rolled up in most of the time. Its weight should be pretty light. Its head is brown and the reason for that is unknown. Its body is cream-colored. The area which connects its head and body is both brown and yellow. It has about six pairs of legs. It only uses its first three pairs to move and it does not move a lot. This creature should be a multiped, a polymera and an invertebrate. It looks like it doesn't move with any purpose. It also doesn't climb the wall. It turns up its head a few times for no reason. It has almost no reaction to the outside world. I can't understand what's the meaning of these actions even though we both are organisms on the same planet. How pity are we?

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Comments

good entry, being more specific with things such as, "should be pretty light" and give a more specific point of reference. I liked the ending of your paragraph taking it away from a strictly observative paper.

I agree, I like the ending of your paragraph as it really highlights the movement of the larva. I would try to lengthen your sentences so it's not as "stop and go", which would greatly help the prose and overall flow of your writing. 

The ending of your paragraph was thought provoking! To help improve the flow of your writing, I would suggest varying the length of your sentences and switching up the pronouns. Some of the shorter sentences could be combined to create larger more complex sentences, and help reduce the amount of "its". 

You have accurate and clear observations, but I would suggest making them flow as paragraphed sentences rather than very short abrupt individual observations.